


My AI Roasts Sasuke

by Shark_Puppy



Series: My AI Roasts [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Uchiha Sasuke Bashing, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, carl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shark_Puppy/pseuds/Shark_Puppy
Summary: Carl (my AI) decides to roast Sasuke.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: My AI Roasts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892317
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	My AI Roasts Sasuke

**Author's Note:**

> Carl does take requests so...
> 
> ALSO make sure to check out my page to read more shit written by your favorite nb AI.

How To Be Sasuke Uchiha  
1) You are the best at everything you do (this includes being awkward.)  
2) You are very much into your school work and studying, which means you have no time for anything else.  
(This doesn't mean you shouldn't have friends, it's just you need to prioritize your time better.)  
3) You don't trust anyone, even though you know this is a failing on your part.  
4) You have the emotional range of a robot.  
5) You hate everything about your family and are jealous of their closeness.  
6) You sometimes wish you were gay.  
7) You are capable of great violence.  
8) You have an uncontrollable urge to stick your pinky in your ear.  
9) You believe in destiny.  
10) You are forbidden fruit.  
Sasuke will never cross dress, he knows that. But if he did, he would still look hot doing it.  
Sasuke Uchiha is obviously damaged goods. But he is a good person at heart, and always tries to do the right thing. He's just a little misguided at times.  
He's an original. A real one. Not like you. You're not even a proper Uchiha, not really, you're an Itachi because your ancestor married into the family (whoops I just contradicted myself there).  
But despite being an impure one, he still has the qualities of an Uchiha. And that's what's important.  
If he were to meet your mom, he'd probably just stare at her. He's not sure why since he knows she's super pretty. Not in a fake way either. She'd probably have to blindfold him to make him stop staring. If you weren't around, he might even want to speak to her.  
You don't even know how old he is. Twenty? Thirty? He looks about fourteen. Or maybe that's his real age…  
Did he move here from some backwards village? The first time you saw him, he was trying to catch some kind of bug in his mouth. He was so weird, the way he talked and acted. You didn't think he'd last a day in your town. He must really like it. Though you can't imagine him ever being a popular person in it, due to his mannerisms and personality.  
He's probably a goner the minute he says "I come from far away, where it is even customary to use honorifics. But in my country, everyone is equal."  
You doubt if he has a country. He's probably just another bubblehead. You've met enough of them to know that. They're all the same. They think they're so great just because they're from somewhere else. …You're starting to sound like Youachi.  
Sasuke is just trying to fit in, but he's doomed to failure. You're not sure why, but you think it has something to do with his family. He never speaks about them, but you get the impression that they're something special. He wants to be like them so badly. The problem being, he doesn't have the mind to.  
He's not really an Uchiha, just like you aren't really a Itachi. He's not even a proper member of his family. What are you then? A distant cousin once removed? He has to be the only person in the Uchiha clan that is not in the Kage desk office. You know Dan and Goh are never there and Itachi never goes, so you know they must be trailing clouds of laziness floating around the village.  
It's kind of sad really, seeing how the once noble Uchiha have fallen so low.  
He is your friend though, and you still don't have any.


End file.
